In the mail yesterday I receive the letter that informed me
that I am officially not married anymore.
Honestly I expected it much earlier than this, so it certainly wasn’t a surprise. But yet, it is still very bittersweet.
If you had asked me a year ago today where I would be today,
this would not have been my guess. If
you told me 2 years ago this is where I would be I would have told you that you
were crazy. But yet here I am. It is not a horrible place. In fact, I kinda like where I’m at. If I wanna play softball 3 or 4 nights a week,
I can. If I want to sit on the couch and
watch a baseball game with a beer, I can.
If I had my choice 6 months ago, I would have not chosen this
route. But you don’t always get to make
the choices. Sometimes you just have to
deal with what comes.
I feel that I have dealt with what has been thrown my
direction well. I could have gotten depressed
and felt bad for myself. I could have
shrinked away from life and just went through the motions. But I didn’t, I chose to grow through
this. I’ve learned to trust God in this
that he has plans for me. And that those
plans are what he sees as best for me. I
have learned who my true friends are and appreciate them beyond words.
But with all of that said, 11 years of life just don’t go
away in a few months. There are still
days when I wish that I had someone to come home to and just be with. There is something to be said for having
someone who you can just sit with and be happy.
There are times that I wish I had someone there to share my ups and
downs with. There are nights that when I
go to bed I wish I had a set of cold feet up against my leg.
But that will come again.
The old chapter has ended. A new
chapter has opened. Eventually this
chapter will end, and another will open.
Who knows what the next new chapter looks like, but I know what this
chapter looks like, and it’s not so bad.
Hopefully that next chapter is even better. My prayer is that when the book is complete
that I end up being the hero of the story and not the villain.
