A confession...

So, I have a confession.  It really pains me to admit this.  Months ago, if someone confessed this to me I would judge them.  And to be honest, I probably have judged other people for this already.  Before I started, the idea of it just felt wrong, it almost repulsed me.  But…  Now that I have tried it, I’ve found that I really like it, and I can’t seem to get enough. 

As you may have (or likely haven’t) noticed that I haven’t blogged for a while.  It’s because a big part of my free time has been occupied with this thing.  It seems like every time I sit down with free time, I just turn to this.  So here it goes:

I love the Harry Potter books.

I just can’t put them down.  I started reading them because I’ve been badgered by so many people that I needed to read them.  So, to appease them I started reading the first book.  Really, it was my thought that I would get through the first book and then be able to say I gave them a try and hated them.  But I don’t.  In fact I quite enjoy them.  The subject of Wizards and Witches has never interested me in the slightest, but despite that I really like them.

So there it is, my deep dark secret… (or at least one of them)

Learning to Ride a Bike

So I haven’t blogged for a while.  A lot of that has to do with a fear of laying it all out there.  It’s hard to come up with topics that you can share a little bit of yourself, but still not really expose too much.  Well, I guess I’m going to try to take a step out of my comfort zone here.

You wanna know what scares me?  At some point in the future, (which I don’t know when will be) I’m going to start dating and looking at starting relationships.  Actually, this doesn’t scare me, it terrifies me.  Some will think that this doesn’t seem like all that big of a deal.  But they don’t really know much about my past.

To be honest, I’ve only been in one long lasting serious romantic relationship.  And even thinking back about it, I’m not really sure how it developed, it just did.  I don’t really remember analyzing things and trying to figure out where I stood and where I thought it was heading.  Will I know if/when a woman is really in love with me?  Thinking about my past, I don’t feel like I will. 

Because I have this fear of not being able to read where I stand in a relationship, I’m scared of not knowing if something is there or not.  People have told me, it’s like riding a bike, it’ll all comeback once I end up there.  My fear is that I haven’t learned to ride that bike yet.  I’m 33 now, and I don’t want to skin my knees trying to learn. 

That’s what scares me...